Moving home after break up

Moving home story with a justified ending

I spent the first day packing my possessions into removal boxes and packing crates.

On the second day, I had the removal company come and load all my belongings.

On the third day, I sat down for a last meal at the magnificent dining table by candle light, I put on some blues background music, and indulged myself on shrimp, caviar and steak and a bottle of champagne.

When I had finished my fine meal, I went into each room and every room of the house and placed several half eaten shrimp shells plunged in caviar into the ends of the curtain rods.

I then cleaned up washed the pots and left…

When the ex-wife returned with her lover, all was heaven for the first few days.

Then gradually, the house began to emanate a terrible smell.

They tried cleaning, mopping and airing the place out everything.

Drains were checked for blockages and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung throughout the house. Rentokil were brought in to fumigate the whole houses, for this period of time they had to move into a hotel, even paying to replace the costly wool carpeting. Nothing worked and they were totally fed up

Visitors stopped calling.

Workmen snubbed the work offered in the house.

The house worker cleaner left.

Finally, they could not handle the reek any longer and decided to move out.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

After a month they decided to reduce the price after the smell had run any potential buyers away and in the end even the local estate agent declined to return their calls.

Finally, they had to get a new mortgage to buy another house. 

I called the ex-wife and asked how life was going.

She told me the story of the putrid house. I listened courteously and told her how much i missed my old home and would be eager to buy the house back.

Thinking I had no idea how bad the smell was she agreed on a price that was half what the house had been worth, but only if I would agree to sign the papers that day.

I agreed and without further delay she had the papers sent by courier from her solicitors that very day.

Two weeks later conveyance paper work completed her and her boyfriend stood amused as they watched the removal company load the van to take them to their new home…..

And to spite me, they even took the curtain rods.

I used man and van to move my stuff back in!